Monday, February 23, 2009


My car approaches the intersection and it seems like there are no cars looming in danger. So, I put my hand in my purse and feel by Braille to the side pocket where I can feel the texture and size of my mahogany lip liner. I glance up at the road again, and I'm maybe 200 yards from a traffic light. I pull down my vanity mirror and peek up into it and at the road simultaneously while I draw an outline on my lips. I made it across the intersection without an accident. Thank God I didn't crash. I really shouldn't multi task in the car. But, then I want to hear some music and I must respond to my desires, NOW, like Veruca Salt from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory... "but daddy... I want it NOW!!!"
I reach behind my seat and feel for my CD case, pull out the EAGLES greatest hits and pop it in. The cell phone rings and its a client who wants to make an appointment to have her hair done. I reach into the back seat again, grabbing my calendar, I open it onto the passenger seat and calibrate the division of my attention between the road and a single point on my schedule that is listed in 15 minute increments. While the phone is in my hand, (this is before the 'hands free' law) I hear a voice in my head, "Are you crazy? I keep telling you to just concentrate on the road. What are you waiting for, an accident to inspire you to listen? Put the phone down." I know this voice is right and I have ignored it way too many times. I may have a death wish I don't listen, I think.
"Ahh, Lois, can I call you when I get to work? Great, thanks."
I put the phone down.
In the driver seat, sits my little self, who has run amuck, believing that she can handle every detail and event in my life if only there were more time. She's stressed and acting like an ego inflated executive who's got the world balancing on its axis with her very own fingers or whose every minute costs billions of dollars.
We hit some traffic and this little me starts to squirm that we are going to be late, her heart beats faster, her breath becomes intense and labored, her forehead squints and she doesn't allow a car that was waiting to turn in front of her, even though a red light was up ahead. That's not like her....
My higher self doesn't rush. She is an elegant, graceful, wise, luminescent being who knows that the only place to be, is exactly where she is.
I surrender to her and decide to let her drive and I metaphorically put the little, scared, over extended 'me' into the passenger seat. "I" then proceed to drive the car... at the speed limit, whether or not the time says that I am late or not. There is no such thing as late when you can only be exactly where you are. I park my car and walk intentionally, yet gracefully, to my destination..
Consciously, I breathe and stay aware of my feet, not allowing my mind to extend any further than my toes. I arrived at work safe and void of adrenaline. My client happened to be 5 minutes late. What a surprise.
* * *
Today, I will drive my car and proceed throughout my day with my highest self in the driver seat of my life. I breathe in the moment and remain calmly here, no matter what the circumstances.